(We don’t get storm warnings in life — only grace to endure them.)
Yesterday I received a call from someone I hadn’t spoken with in more than a year. In our conversation we spoke about disappointments and she shared how she and her husband were struggling with ambivalence toward churches because of their personal experiences. She had only recently learned what we walked through last year, and it seemed to deepen her own sense of disillusionment with the Church as a whole. I spoke carefully — wanting her to know I understood what it means to navigate mixed emotions toward the Church. I wanted her to know her emotions were valid, that it’s human to struggle with how we’re feeling about church and that it’s not an indication of lack of love, but a result of experiences that are still healing.
I’ve wrestled these emotions myself, maybe more than most. When disappointment and injustice come from within the Church — from those who profess Christ — it can feel easier to surrender to the pain and believe the enemy has somehow won.
As we spoke, I told her there were days I wanted to quit. Times I walked out of church services in tears. Times I wanted to bust windows and slash tires. Times I felt it was all huge waste of time. From my experience, It’s all too easy to paint all churches and Christians with the same brush when the colors we’re holding were mixed in seasons of hurt within the Church. I sensed that’s where she and her husband found themselves too.
I know, there have been many days I needed to be reminded that what feels like losing is not always defeat. I encouraged her gently — reminding her of what I often had to remind myself —that quitting is exactly what the enemy hopes for.
It has been my continual prayer, throughout this difficult season, that the Lord would help me navigate it with grace — that I would be careful not to speak malice into an already painful situation and that I wouldn’t further fracture what was already broken. There are already enough reasons for people to distrust the Church — I want to be someone who draws them toward Christ, not gives them reason to walk further away.
I remember this time last year re-reading this quote, referring to the apostle Paul —
“When you’ve survived three shipwrecks, people pay attention to where you’ve been and where you’re going.” – Natalie Runion
When I read Acts 28 I am reminded that even the aftermath of a shipwreck can be the setting of unexpected ministry. Paul had just narrowly escaped death and found himself in a place he had not planned on going, yet his story wasn’t finished. There in the aftermath he finds unexpected kindness (Acts 28:2), God’s divine protection (28:3-6) and God’s provision (28:10). Paul eventually reaches Rome and continues preaching boldly, even while under house arrest (Acts 28:30–31). His mission had been delayed — not diminished and not erased. There in that season of survival he experienced God’s preserving power! The shipwreck did not end Paul’s ministry — it just changed his course so that the Gospel could go forth.
“He lived there two whole years at his own expense… proclaiming the kingdom of God and teaching about the Lord Jesus Christ with all boldness and without hindrance.”
Acts 28:30-31
This year has taught me many lessons, and there were many days I felt like God was dragging me along behind him, rather than running my race… But I’m thankful that God continually reminds me that He Himself is our victory. It may feel like we’re losing in seasons of this life… like the enemy keeps winning… but can I encourage you with this thought?
The enemy only wins if we quit.
Like Paul, may we walk out of the devastation of our circumstances and keep moving forward, trusting that the mission ahead still outweighs the storms behind us. We can not always escape the storms, but God is faithful to carry us through them. Hurt may alter how we walk into church spaces for a season, but it does not change the truth that the Church is still Christ’s body — it is still a gathering of imperfect people being shaped by a perfect Savior — and there is still goodness, healing, and grace to be found within it.
Whatever season you find yourself in, may you be encouraged — this Christian walk isn’t about navigating life perfectly- We’re all learning, slowly and surely, to remain steady in His grace. ⚓
We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;
2 Corinthians 4:8-9
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